The Ultimate Way to Become More Interesting to Others…

January 10, 2012 in A Better Way of Business, A Life Not Wasted with 3 Comments

…is to be interested in others.

I just saw a post on Twitter that had a headline from a magazine that went something like “10 Ways to be More Interesting to Others”.

I have to be honest, I didn’t even click on the link. I don’t need to.

If you want to become more interesting to other people, you need to first become interested in other people. Once you start putting forth the time and effort to find out about other people you will find that other people are amazingly more interested in you.

Stop. Think about it.

How many of your closest friends have spent time being interested in you? How many of them have you spent time being interested in?

Will this work in every case? Not at all. Sometimes your interest is completely unwanted (think stalker) and unreciprocated (think user). That’s just part of life (and sometimes it’s just because the other person never learned to be interested in others).

But I’m confident that the more you become interested in other people, the more you will find others are interested in you.

Don’t believe? Think I’m full of crap?

Take some time and read Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People.

~Ivan

Miracle or Opportunity

January 9, 2012 in A Life Not Wasted with 0 Comments

Our tendency is to pray for miracles. But in most situations, it is more appropriate to pray for opportunities. More than likely you need an opportunity rather than something supernatural. ~Andy Stanley in Visoneering pg 31

When I read this it was like I got hit over the head with a sledge hammer.

I pray for miracles.

When I want something, I ask for divine intervention more than I ask for the opportunity to do something myself. I ask God, in His infinite wisdom and power, sitting on the throne to the universe, to step in and provide what I want.

And while some events take just that, God taking an active role, frequently I should be asking for an opportunity. An open door in the direction I want to go. An open mind in a person I want to speak to.

An opportunity for me to do what * I * can to accomplish what I desire.

I find myself way too frequently asking for miracles instead of opportunities.

What about you? Do you tend to lean towards asking God to intervene to get what you want or do you pray for an opportunity to go after what you want?

~Ivan

Stop. Act. Make it Happen!

January 6, 2012 in A Better Way of Business with 2 Comments

Here’s the first video of 2012:

YouTube Preview Image

I’m taking action on one of my goals for 2012, how about your? Are you taking concrete action to achieve what you want in 2012? If you’re not doing it already, when will you?

If I can help, let me know.

~Ivan

If you’re like me and always trying to hone your blogging skills, be sure to spend some serious time over at Tentblogger!

Be Remarkable

January 5, 2012 in A Better Way of Business, A Life Not Wasted with 3 Comments

The tagline for A Better Way of Business is “Be Remarkable” and I got to thinking about this yesterday while listening to a TED Talk by Seth Godin titled On Standing Out.

In the talk, Seth talks about the word remarkable and how it implies that you’re doing something so well, so unusual, so inspired that it causes others to remark on it; to talk about it, to share it with friends, family, and associates.

Hearing Seth talk I started thinking about why Be Remarkable is my tagline; where I got it, what I hope it accomplishes.

Where it came from

I heard Be Remarkable, when used to describe what a business does, for the first time from Justin Lukasavige over at CoachRadio.tv. Justin frequently uses this expression on his podcast and in his blog.

When I heard it the first time, it struck a chord with me. Too frequently I’ve seen people who are just in business. Their either just trying to get by or just make more money, but they’re not trying to be remarkable. Being remarkable takes too much effort, too much time, costs too much.

So they do their job, or run their business, or live their life just to get by; doing “just” enough and no more.

The very idea of undertaking any of these endeavors to be remarkable made me smile, made my heart sing, made me stop and think, “Am I being remarkable or am I doing just enough to get by?”

I owe a lot to Justin, least of which is credit for A Better Way of Business’s tagline.

What I hope it accomplishes

There are many things I hope it accomplishes.

With the new direction of this blog announced January 1, 2012, I want to start with the selfish reason. Be Remarkable is intended to make me push myself to be remarkable, to perform my work in such a manner that others not only appreciate it, but talk about it and share it with others. To always push me to perform a little better than last time, to make this time the best effort and product ever. Being remarkable pushes me to approach everything that I do, whether it’s work, play, spending time with family, or time with God to be worthy of remark by others.

With regards to you, my tribe, my audience, my friends, current and future business owners, I hope Be Remarkable forces you to stop, to take a step back, and ask yourself, “Am I performing in a way that is remarkable?”

If not, change your behavior. Either stop performing the tasks that you have no love for and no heart for, or adapt yourself so that you can start performing in a remarkable way. Push to make every effort your best effort; every interaction, your best interaction.

Be Remarkable.

Going forward

Going forward I intend on keeping Be Remarkable front and center in my life and in my business. Personally, I hope to not have another period of time where I go weeks or months without consciously thinking about this phrase. I hope to live it!

Will you join me in this adventure? Will you push to Be Remarkable? Make this effort your best effort?

It takes hard work. It takes heart. It takes being intentional in all that you do.

Will you join me in my efforts to Be Remarkable?

~Ivan

TAKING BOLD ACTION

January 4, 2012 in A Life Not Wasted with 12 Comments

I’ve noticed a growing trend among my friends over the past few weeks where everyone I know seems to be giving the New Year a theme by which to guide them; friends such as Nina Nelson, Joshua Gordon, Michael Good, and Alana Mokma.

To be completely honest my original reaction to this movement was, “That’s lame!” I thought, “What are they going to do, have a Dr. Who themed year; or a Richie Rich themed year?” My mind instantly ran wild with my friends all dressing up like their favorite TV and movie characters, talking like them, acting like, etc.

Sounds a little off, I know, but I guess I took “theme” to be similar to a theme party, you know, like a 70’s party, or an 80’s Big Hair party; something similar to that.

However, on Tuesday during the weekly Rendezvous I have with some extremely incredible people it hit me like a ton of bricks!

And what hit me was:

TAKING BOLD ACTION!

Before I even knew what had happened a theme for 2012 ran up and punched me right in the face!

And like a punch in the face it startled me; made me take a mental step back.

Because I wasn’t looking for a theme, I was happily laughing, if to myself, at all my friends who were theme-ing their year and waiting on someone to announce:

The theme for 2012 for me is “Bringing back the early ‘90’s grunge look!

Fortunately this never happened because everyone but me apparently knew what was meant by putting a theme to your year and the value of doing so.

What it means

A theme doesn’t mean you’re going to try and imitate someone else’s style or necessarily dress in a certain way or act a certain way, such as a party theme, although it could.

What it means is you’re going to establish a guiding slogan, a light house for the storm, a shining beacon on the hill, so that when life jumps up and kicks the crap out of you, or you’re stumbling around and feeling lost, or you’re trying to decide between two different courses of action you can look up and through the fog or the darkness or the multitude of legs that are kicking you and remember your purpose. Remember what it is you’ve set out to do and to accomplish.

Theme-ing your year is about providing yourself roadside markers to help you get to your desired destination. It’s about always remembering what’s important.

It’s about being intentional and make this, the New Year, a year that propels you towards the future you want and desire, instead of you just stumbling around in the dark.

2012 for me

As previously stated, my theme for 2012 is:

TAKING BOLD ACTION!

Here’s why, if left to my own nature, I tend to be a coward. When hard decisions are placed in front of me I want to freeze up. On the outside and externally I say I need to analyze the decision to make sure I’m going to make the right choice, but inside I’m screaming and crying in fear!

Skye pointed out to me last night that I actually have tons of great ideas on a regular basis (this, about a guy who admits he’s not creative and lacks in ideas!), however, I refuse to act o them. As Skye put it, “You talk a big talk, but that’s all you do. You’re scared to act.”

And when she said this it didn’t shock me. It wasn’t said in anger or in spite or in a loud voice. It was simply a statement of fact. And when I heard it it struck me straight to my heart because I knew it for truth the second I heard it (thank God for an awesome and loving wife who cares enough for me to say the hard things I need to hear!).

So let’s break this down, but backwards:

ACTION:

This is crucial. I must act. I will provide a short period of time to make sure I’m not being stupid, a band wagon jumper, or making a purely emotional decision; however, I must take action. Even if it’s to say, “I will not act on this!” Action and a decision must be made. No more thinking and researching and pondering without end, now, I will act.

BOLD:

My actions need to be significant. They need to matter. Simply saying I’m taking action by going to the mail box to mail a letter to a friend regarding a strained relationship is not acceptable. If that situation were real then bold action would be discussing the situation face to face with the friend in a loving, respectful manner.

Bold means committing to action on things that scare me, especially on things that scare me. If a project arises and has a significant chance of failure, but the upside is unbelievably awesome, I need to act to pursue it.

When I’m confronted with tasks that are extremely challenging, I need to rise to the occasion, even if I’m the only person that believes I can perform it!

Where there’s a fear, I need to confront it.

A difficult conversation, I need to have it.

A situation that makes me uncomfortable, I need to put myself there.

And please note, I’m not saying take stupid or unnecessarily dangerous actions, I just need to confront my fears in a bold manner, not take the easy way out.

TAKING:

Taking implies that I’m not asking for permission.

I don’t have to ask if I can make my family’s life better, I’m just going to do it.

I don’t have to ask if I can add value to your life in a way that I know I can and doesn’t even involve effort or consent from you, I’m just going to do it.

Pops, my father, once told me that sometimes it’s better to ask forgiveness than it is permission. I’m going to live that out now.

I’m not going to rob, cheat, or steal from you or others, but I will doggedly pursue what I want in life and will not take “no” for an answer!

What about you?

So here’s where this gets personal for you. What do you want from 2012? What’s your theme? Do you have one? Do you know where you want to go with your life?

Right now I’m calling you out! I’m challenging you to live intentionally. If you don’t have a theme for the year yet, create one! If you already have a theme, share it below to encourage others to live intentionally and pursue their dreams.

I’m TAKING BOLD ACTION!, what about you?

~Ivan

It’s an Experiment

January 3, 2012 in A Better Way of Business, Derek Sivers Series with 3 Comments

This is part of the Derek Sivers Series.

This post is inspired by Why You Need to Fail by Derek Sivers.

Here’s how this applies to me (and it could apply to you):

End All, Be All

When I started out with A Better Way of Business I had in my mind that I was creating the end all, be all small business consulting firm. My approach was to come along side struggling small businesses and help them “right the ship”. I was going to start by reviewing their financial data (their books) spot problems or trends, provide solutions, repeat. By getting my foot in with the numbers I was going to help them in countless unexpected ways. I was going to single handedly change small business statistics for the better.

In my mind and through my efforts I was creating the ultimate small business consulting firm. I wasn’t creating pieces or parts to a whole. I was creating the whole; the final product. The end all, be all.

However, reality stepped in and had something else in mind.

Since I didn’t create the parts, the whole never functioned. The foundation upon which the entire business was designed was sand… it was less than sand. I was building on water.

In a storm.

And probably an earthquake, too.

And what I discovered is if you try to put a building on top of water, in a raging storm, that’s also experiencing an earthquake at the same time, the building has now hope of coming together, let alone standing.

It collapsed.

It failed.

And due to my mind set of creating the end all, be all small business consulting firm, I left myself absolutely no leeway to see the outcome as anything but a catastrophe; a complete and utter failure.

With this mindset I quickly feel into a downward spiral of negativity. Of, “You’re a failure.” “See what happens when you trying something different.” “How can you help others when you can’t help yourself?” “Loser!”

The downward negativity from knowing I completely failed, due to trying to create the end all be all small business consulting firm, fed on itself and got worse and worse over a six week period.

I was ready to hang up my gloves, step out of the ring, and find another job. Give up on being self employed.

Then I came across Why You Need to Fail

It’s an Experiment

In the video Derek explains why we each need to fail more (watch the video; it’s definitely worth your 15 minutes).

One of his points is about experimentation and why we should our efforts as an experiment, not the one and only option or effort.

You see, when we experiment we are basically saying, “I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen if I do xyz, but I want to find out.” So you undertake the experiment.

Supposedly, you’re not biased as to the outcome of an experiment (although frequently we are); you just want to know what happens when you do it. It’s the learning that takes place that is important, not necessarily the outcome.

When you look up the definition of experiment on Dictioanry.com you find:

a test, trial, or tentative procedure; an act or operation for the purpose of discovering something unknown or of testing a principle, supposition, etc.

By its very definition experiment refers to “… discovering something unknown…”, which tells me you don’t precisely know what you’re going to get by doing it.

I’m stressing this point because this seemingly slight shift in mindset is already having monumental impact on my way of thinking and I really want you to grasp what I’m saying here.

The Effect

The effect this has had on me has stopped my downward spiral of negativity. It’s allowed me to pick my head up, shrug off the crushing sensation of failure, and march towards the future with an expectant, hopeful heart.

This happened because I stopped viewing my previous efforts at A Better Way of Business in terms of producing the end all, be all creation of a small business consulting firm and am now viewing my efforts as experiments.

I experimented in creating a “final product” and found that the results are not to my liking. So I’m going to adjust and adapt the components of the experiment and try again.

This time I’m experimenting with creating the base components, instead of the final product in one giant swoop.

If this experiment doesn’t work, I’ll adjust and adapt again, and try once more.

This shift in my mindset is huge! It’s allowing me to stop wallowing in self pity and doubts and enabling me to get back in the ring again; to try something different. My previous efforts didn’t work, so I adapt and adjust and try again.

It’s an experiment, the outcome isn’t known, but if it’s not desired, adjust and try again.

Thoughts for You

I realize that I tend to view things a little differently than most. I’ve been told that my whole life and have been confronted with it frequently as I get older.

But I know I’m not alone with my fear of failure; my effort to create the final product, instead of creating the pieces that make up the whole.

So I ask you, how could you benefit if you started seeing your efforts as an experiment instead of as the end all, be all efforts to create the next best thing?

~Ivan

Derek Sivers Series

January 2, 2012 in A Better Way of Business, A Life Not Wasted, Derek Sivers Series with 15 Comments

The Inspiration

Although the general idea to create series of posts around a centralized topic or theme came from Tentblogger, Derek Sivers is the individual that inspired me to create series around certain people and how they affect the way I think.

It started the last week of 2012 when a friend of mine, Tasra Mar from TasraMar.com, put up this article on her site: 5 Reasons You Must Pursue Whatever Scares You. The inspiration for this article came from a quote from Derek Sivers around the same topic.

After reading everything Tasra had to share on the topic and being very inspired myself, I followed her links through to Derek’s site and snooped around. I ultimately spent around 2 hours watching videos he’s created. From these videos I wrote down three pages (!) of topics I wanted to blog about.

After I created my list however, I didn’t just want to start blogging on each topic as if I created it wholly my own, I wanted to give credit where credit is due. I wanted to open other people’s eyes to Derek and his work so they can be inspired and moved, because I firmly believe that two people hearing the exact same thing can have two very different, very significant responses. So by all means, follow the links and spend time on Derek’s site getting to know him, hearing what he has to say or reading what he’s written, and hopefully changing you for the better.

Who is Derek Sivers?

Derek’s rise to fame began as a musician and professional circus clown. In 1998 he then went on to start the company CD Baby, which became the largest seller of independent music online, with sales of $100 million and more than 150,000 artists. He went on to sell CD Baby for 22 million in cash, which he turned around and gave the funds to a charitable trust to fund music education with. Derek went on to write a book, Anything You Want, which hit No. 1 in all of its Amazon categories. (Side note, my good friend Joshua Gordon, from thenonconformistfamily.com, gave me a copy of the book a few months ago for being awesome (his words, not mine) and helping him out with a project. Thanks, Josh!) Derek now lives in Singapore with wife and cat.

Posts Inspired by Derek

Here is a list of topics I’ll be covering over some amount of time in the future (not sure how long it will take, because as I mentioned yesterday, I’m going to take this same approach with at least four other people, and I’m going to intermix the timing of the series to keep things interesting):

  • Your obvious idea is amazing to others.
  • What would you do if you knew you were going to die in 6 months?
  • Do what excites and or scares you.
  • Do you learn from your failures? Mistakes teach better than successes.
  • If you’re not saying “Hell yeah!” about something, say “No!” to it.
  • You don’t need funding, just start!
  • Fixed mindset versus growth mindset (I presently have a fixed mindset).
  • It’s an Experiment.
  • Why are you doing what you’re doing? Money, prestige, fame, leave a legacy, freedom. Know, focus, and don’t diffuse.
  • I’m so worried about what others think I allow it to have a significant impact on my decisions.
  • If you keep going down the path you’re going, will you have deathbed regrets?
  • No business plan survives first contact with the first customer.
  • Nobody knows the future. Plan accordingly.
  • Learn to ask “Why?”
  • Simple is better. Your “One Thing”. What can you be a hedgehog over? Focus on it!
  • Revolution is usually a term applied in hindsight. When you’re doing it you’re just weird or different.
  • If people aren’t into what you’re doing, stop and do something else. It could be a timing issue. It could be people don’t understand. Let it go and try something else.
  • Start small, then go big. Version 0.1 not version infinity.
  • Ideas on their own are not that valuable. It’s the execution that makes an idea valuable.
  • Treat your customers how you treat your friends.
  • It’s the small things you do that can make a big difference.

Please note that I will update this list to reflect the exact title of the posts it inspires and the appropriate links. Also, I retain the freedom to add to or delete topics from this list.

Please be aware that while the posts referenced above are inspired by Derek Sivers, the thoughts and opinions expressed there in will be mine and mine alone. IB

Looking Back… Looking Forward

January 1, 2012 in A Better Way of Business, A Life Not Wasted with 22 Comments

The Present

It’s 12:13 PM on January 1, 2012 as I type this. The first day of a new year.

Skye’s asleep on the couch.

Alexander’s asleep in his bed. In a little bit we’re all heading over to some friends house for a New Year’s day get-together. It’s going to be a great time.

We started off our morning with cinnamon rolls, coffee / hot chocolate, and Murder She Wrote. I followed that up with 30 minutes of exercising, a hair cut, and trimming my beard.

Overall, it’s been a great start to a new year.

Looking Back at 2011

2011 was a year. As it sits right this very moment, I’m not certain if I’d classify it as a “good” year or a “bad” year. I just think it was “a” year.

However, I do believe that in 5 years from now both Skye and I will be able to look back and say 2011 was a turning point. A point in time where everything changed, for better or for worse, the future will not be the same.

Wow, I just looked outside today for the first time, it’s really dreary outside… glad it’s not the same inside me. In my heart. In there, the day is bright and the future is full of possibilities.

I digress.

Two significant things happened in 2011 that I want to address here, today, in this post. First, my health. Second, starting A Better Way of Business.

Health

In 2011 I learned that by consistently and repeatedly putting myself in situations that were not ideal, in terms of work, I was significantly contributing to numerous health issues. Mainly:

  • High blood pressure – my blood pressure was frequently 190 over 110 at work and between 120 to 130 over 80 at home. This trend had been going on for 3 or 4 years, but got significantly worse in 2011.
  • Stress / blood pressure headaches – I honestly don’t know what caused some of the headaches I had in 2011, but the theory is that stress and blood pressure were a significant part of them (The Headache happened, where I spent 8 hours in the ER one day).
  • Swallowing problems – a couple different times I choked while eating. After having a swallow test performed I found out that stress was the major contributor to my swallowing issues.
  • Asthma attacks – I had two asthma attacks, for the first time in my life. Both instances the cause of the attack was deemed to be stress.

In addition to these issues, I was becoming “a shell of a man”, especially according to Skye, the one closest to me. The reason for this was in an effort for me to not take out my stress and frustration on Skye and Alexander when at home, I reverted to … sinking inside my own mind. I would shelter myself from both of them, in an effort to not yell at them. This led to tension between Skye and me (and I’m sure it’s not been the best for Alexander, either).

In light of the health issues Skye and I decided that the best course of action was for me to leave my day job as an accounting manager and pursue self employment.

Starting A Better Way of Business

A Better Way of business was originally started as a blog on July 20th, 2011. At that time I was just considering going full time self employed and wanted to use the blog as an outlet for my thoughts and ideas.

The response to the blog was beyond my wildest dreams and I quickly went from posting two days a week to posting five days a week.

By October 8th, 2011 I had left my day job and went full time at A Better Way of Business.

I hit the ground with a lot of confidence, expectations, and hope.

And that was mostly it.

I was completely convinced that since I’m ME, and A Better Way of Business was created by me, that I would be a SMASHING success in a month, maybe two at the most.

However, reality kicked in.

Business didn’t take off just because I went full time, just because I’m me. In fact, the clients that I thought I was opening my doors with never actually became clients. My original plan was to do such a great job for those clients that I’d get introduced to their friends and associates. Also, I intended on getting testimonials from those same clients and use those to attract people outside of my current sphere of influence. Since those clients never actually materialized, my original plan fell apart.

I was not introduced to the friends and associates of currently pleased clients.

I did not obtain testimonials from currently ecstatic clients.

I had no clients.

In all honesty, having none of the people that I thought were “sure thing” clients materialize shook me. It was unexpected. It knocked the wind from my sails. After all, didn’t I just start A Better Way of Business with the belief that these people were going to be my clients? Yes, I did.

Well what am I going to do now?

My belief was that I would gain clients from my blog. After all, my blog was doing better than I ever expected (please note, I have no clue how a “good” a blog performs, so my expectations are not based on other blogs, but my own beliefs and opinions), drawing more viewers on a daily basis, garnering more comments daily, and many people were telling me how I was impacting their lives with my content.

Surely I could convert some of this traffic and attention into paying clients?

…

Nope.

And there are reasons. I’m sure several of the reasons I don’t even know. But one of the biggest reasons was confusion of the message of A Better Way of Business on my part.

In a one week period I heard from several different people that the message I put out through my blog and videos at A Better Way of Business differed from the message I was putting out when I spoke to people face to face or over the phone.

Through my blog content and videos I was telling people, “Stop wasting your life! I’ve wasted parts of my life and I know that pain and I don’t want you to go through that too!”

When you spoke to me I was saying, “Let come up alongside your struggling small business and help you out by analyzing your numbers, spotting problem areas, and then helping to create solutions to propel you forward.”

Two different messages, almost two completely different audiences; confusion abounded.

When I realized this confusion in messages I was devastated. I thought I was a liar, a fake, and a fraud. I mean how can I help people if I can’t even put out the same message through two different channels? Seriously?! I was tempted to pull the plug on my self employment efforts and go get a job.

But I didn’t.

I picked myself up and pushed forward. I realized that while this was unfortunate, the only way my mistakes so far would be completely devastating to my self employment efforts was if I quit completely and went and got another day job.

I decided that I was going to transform A Better Way of Business into Bridging the Void (seen here and here). A coaching business designed around helping people 1) stop wasting their lives and 2) building a business around their passions.

And while this transformation still has not taken place to this day, it’s still something I’m considering and working on, all at the same time.

This brings us to:

Looking Forward 2012, and Beyond

I will be the first to tell you I do not know what the future holds.

I can pretty much guarantee you that it will hold happiness and joy, pain and suffering, good times and bad.

But there are some things that I know I’m going to push forward with in the upcoming months.

Health

I have no intention of allowing my health to be such an issue going forward. Stress and frustration from my day jobs was only one contributing factor for my decline in health.

Not eating right and exercising were also very much involved in the process. Both of which I can control to very large extent.

That’s why Skye and I have already adjusted out diets to be more anti-inflammatory (apparently my diet was about as bad as it could get with someone with my health issues).

Also, I’m starting to exercise again. My goal for the next 3 months is to exercise 3 times a week, every week, for at least 30 minutes at a time. If I do more, that’s even better, but I don’t ever want to do less.

I can already tell you that in changing my diet and starting to exercise again over the last month I have already noticed a significant difference in how I feel. I’m very much looking forward to seeing how I feel when both my diet and exercise programs are 100% implemented.

A Better Way of Business

A Better Way of Business cannot continue to exist in its current form. Let’s face it, I intended for this to be a business, and a “business” it cannot be without clients or any form of income generated from it.

So I’m going to change it.

Or better yet, I’m going to change how I view it.

Being completely transparent, I still have not decided on exactly how I’m going to change A Better Way of Business, but I have decided on some changes that I believe are going to be very significant.

First, I’m going to be selfish. The posts that have garnered the most attention and response in the past have been the posts that I, myself, have needed the most (such as Do Something!). And while I want and appreciate your attention and responses, I’m going to selfish in that I’m going to talk about what I want to talk about. I’m going to address things that I want to know more about. That I’m studying or just find curious.

Second, I’m going to start several series of posts. Part of the idea for series has come from John Saddington, over at Tentblogger. Tentblogger has several series, complete with landing page / table of content, that provide extremely valuable information as well as garner significant attention and responses. However, my series are going to be a little different. Whereas Tentblogger has series around a specific topic, such as Blogging Starter Kit, I’m going to have series based around specific people. These people-specific series will originate from ideas I’ve learned from others. As an example, I recently spent 2 hours watching videos by Derek Sivers. In those 2 hours I came up with more than 3 pages of blog posts I’m going to write about over the upcoming months. And in an effort to pay tribute to who the ideas came from, I’m going to create landing pages / table of contents for various people that have provided me with insane amounts of ideas and inspiration. People such as (name links to series page, website links to their site):

Derek Sivers – Sivers.org

John Saddington – Tentblogger.com

Justin Lukasavige – CoachRadio.tv

Seth Godin – SethGodin.com

Dale Carnegie – How to Win Friends and Influence People

When I create these posts I’ll start with the thought or idea the individual inspired me with and then share my thoughts regarding the topic. In this way, I hope to not only learn more about things I’m personally interested in, I also hope to provide you with insights and ideas that I have had that were inspired by others.

You might be asking yourself, “Can’t I just go to these people’s sites myself and learn from them?” By all means, yes! I actually hope you do. However, keep in mind that while we both may read or hear the same thing, we’re likely to have different thoughts. Here, I’ll share with you mine. So you may decide, like I have, that spending 100’s of hours on Coachradio.tv is not only informative, but enjoyable and entertaining, by continuing to come here you’ll see exactly what resonated with me and how it did so.

Third, since I’ve been producing no income through my business, I have to do something now to generate income. This something is going to be a job.

Yes, I know, the cat’s out of the bag. I’m going to have to secure a position that will pay me some form of steady income to help provide for my family.

Translation, A Better Way of Business, as a business, has been a failure up to this point in time. Especially if to be a “successful” business you believe a business must make money.

Admitting this is difficult. It puts my failure as an entrepreneur front and center and out there for the whole world to see. And this hurts.

But it’s true.

It’s also true that I allowed my fear of admitting that I have not been successful, that I have failed in my first business attempt, thus far, to negatively impact me and my family. Due to fear of being seen as a failure by you, and all the rest of the world, I continued down paths that were not working and I did not believe were going to work. But if I stopped or made significant adjustments, others would know I failed.

And I couldn’t have that, now could I?!

Actually, yes, yes I can.

While I do not like admitting that my endeavors have not been successful thus far, I am going to continue down the path of self employment. I will use A Better Way of Business, and any transformations that occur here, to further push me in that direction.

However, now, I view this as an experiment. It may work, it may not. But I will be transparent in my learning and efforts to transform a blog into a business which can support me and my family.

______

Do I have everything figured out? Not at all! But I am marching towards the future with my head held high and my heart beating fast for what is in front of me.

~Ivan

Being True to Yourself

December 22, 2011 in A Life Not Wasted with 6 Comments

Do you find it easy to be true to yourself?

To look at yourself, with as little bias as possible?

If I really focus myself, I’m pretty good at it. Well… I’m better at spotting my weaknesses and mistakes than my strengths and successes… but that’s no the point today.

Recently, I took the Strengths Finder 2.0 test for the second time. The first time I took it was back in March 2011 for a course in Free Agent Academy.

This second time I’ve taken it it is for a new project I’m participating in where we were each requested to take the test again, if we had not taken it in the last 3 months.

So I took it.

Prior to taking it I made sure to turn off all distractions. Use the bath room. And say a prayer asking God to give me wisdom and courage to be truthful, instead of putting “the right” answer, whatever that might mean.

And to the best of my ability that is what I did, I answered truthfully. Several times I thought, “I want to be this way, but I’m not. I’m actually very much this other way. Give the honest answer, not the desired answer.”

And for the record, I used this same method both times when I took the test.

So what are my strengths?

March 2011

  • Competition
  • Input
  • Focus
  • Communication
  • Achiever

December 2011

  • Competition
  • Achiever
  • Communication
  • Learner
  • Significance

As you can see, 3 of the 5 strengths are the same, with competition being my highest both times. “Input” and “Focus” were replaced with “Learner” and “Significance”.

Overall I’m satisfied with the results. I agree with both of them.

What this says to me, is both times I did a pretty good job of being true to myself. I answered in a way that reveals the real me, hence fairly similar results both times.

Not having hard, scientific proof of this, I believe the shifts that occurred are not major and are more a symptom of the changes in my life that have happened in the last year. Also, I have been informed that Gallop recommends not taking the test multiple times because they have research that shows participants will try and skew their answers to get a desired outcome (which I did my best to avoid). However, any changes that occur between the first test and the second is more likely to show other strengths that are present in the participant, as all people have significant amounts of around 10 different strengths.

I say all that to say 1) I believe I was true to myself in providing answers that represent myself and 2) I believe I possess all 7 strengths to a significant degree.

Here’s where this discussion turns personal though.

Are you being true to yourself?

If you were to take this test, or other similar tests such as the DISC profile test, or the Myers Briggs, would you give the answers that most accurately represent you or would you give the answer you think is “preferred”, either by you or by others?

I asked the director at a previous job why the company spent tens of thousands of dollars creating a personality test and didn’t instead just use the DISC profile. He responded that in his decades of HR experience he learned that “…everyone lies on the DISC test. They do their best to simply give the answers they think should be given for someone in his or her position.”

That shocked me when I heard it, for many reasons, but let’s focus on one. What if he’s right? What if people tend to give the “desired” answer instead of the “true” answer.

If that’s the case, the participant is only hurting his or her self.

And that’s sad!

How will you ever become the person you were made to be if you’re doing your best to become who others think you should be?!

So I ask you, are you being true to yourself. Are you trying to uncover the “real” you so that you can grow into the person you were made to be?

I’d love to know where you stand on this. Drop a comment below and let’s talk!

~Ivan

If it’s not moving you in the right direction…

December 21, 2011 in A Life Not Wasted with 0 Comments

…then “STOP IT!”

This is not something new to me, but it’s something that just hit me in the face, yet again.

I’m doing something that really isn’t helping me get where I want to go in life right now. So I need to stop it. And I am!

What am I doing? I’m reading a book.

A book that I think is actually written fairly well. It’s about zombies. And I like zombies. And the world war that was caused by the zombie plague that struck the earth.

The book is World War Z. I got it from the library yesterday and I’m already 120 pages into it (which is completely shocking if you understand my turtle pace reading speed)! I like the way it’s written like it’s an interview of eye witness accounts. I find the descriptions very interesting and cool, if somewhat disturbing (I mean come on! we’re talking about zombies here!).

And I have about 66% of the book to finish.

And I’m not going to.

I’m taking it back to the library either later today or tomorrow.

Why, you might ask? Because it’s not helping me right now. I’m enjoying the book, but when I read I really chew through the topic I’m reading. I play it over and over in my mind. I try to see it from different angles.

And doing this with basically an apocalyptic zombie war is just making me have a bleak outlook. I find that I’m more “down” today than I was yesterday or the day before, and the big difference is the book I’m reading.

So I’m done with it. I don’t need help in getting “down”, I need help in getting “up”! I need inspiration, encouragement, and motivation!

So I’m done with this book for now (although I might read later and I will see the movie when it comes out).

There are other things I’m doing in life right now that aren’t helping get where I want to go. I’ll be addressing them in the near future, but not here, today.

Today, I want to know what are you doing that’s not helping you get where you want to go? What do you need to stop doing because it’s actually taking you away from your desired destination?

Because I believe we all do things that hamper our progress from time to time and it takes us mentally stepping back and assessing the situation to realize it. Take the time today. Step back. See if you’re hampering your progress in any way. And if so, focus on eliminating just one of those speed bumps from your life.

Then jump in the comments and let the discussion begin!

~Ivan

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